First look at first looks
How do you choose? What’s the history? Why do people have them? What’s best for YOUR wedding day experience? All that answered about first looks and more!
The history behind not seeing the bride before the ceremony
It’s not as romantic as it is now. This tradition stems from arranged marriages and was used to keep the groom from bailing if he saw his bride and didn’t like her appearance. Nowadays this is a non-issue as most people know whom they’re marrying.
So where does waiting till the ceremony leave us now?
Now this tradition is more about the surprise for the groom as he’s anxiously awaiting his lovely bride to walk down the aisle. Seeing her in her dress for the first time, with every eye in the room on her, all the emotions start flowing freely. The excitement of ‘This is really happening!’ and ‘She’s so beautiful, I can’t believe I get to spend the rest of my life with her!’ are the thoughts had during this time.
why people have first looks
Having a first look can calm nerves, being able to be with your person beforehand vs not seeing them for most of the day can resolve some anxious feelings for some. Some people also just dislike participating in the tradition after knowing the history behind it. (One such tradition for me was the garter toss. Knowing the ‘why’ behind the garter toss makes me feel icky and that’s one of my least favorite wedding traditions.)
Whether it’s for your wedding or your elopement, you can choose whether or not to have a first look. Guess what? There’s no right or wrong answer.
how it affects your photos
Having a first look
It can make your photo timeline easier to have a first look before the ceremony as every family group photo can be taken before the ceremony starts. No running out of daylight, no one’s gone to the bathroom as soon as the ceremony was over, you can enjoy more of cocktail hour with your guests. When you only have one location for both your ceremony and your reception you don’t have to juggle where your friends will be while you’re taking family and wedding party photos.
not having a first look
Choosing to not have a first look beforehand doesn’t mean that your day will automatically be more stressful. It’s all in how you allow for space to breathe on your wedding day. Ways to make that happen are having the ceremony early enough in the day that it doesn’t go straight into the evening and dinnertime. Maybe you plan to have an hour after the ceremony but before cocktail hour starts to rock out family and wedding party photos. Then you don’t miss mingling with guests who traveled to celebrate you and you still got to see each other for the first time during your ceremony.
Couples portraits can easily be snuck in during cocktail hour, during sunset, or right after family and wedding party photos are done. As long as you’re not traveling to another location, you can easily rock out 15-30 minutes of just couples photos together and still feel like you have plenty of time with your friends and family.
special first looks
One type of first look that I’ve seen a lot more of when the bride and groom don’t want to see each other is a first look with the bride’s father or grandfathers. It’s super sweet and emotional and can also give you some relief for anxious nerves to know these family members are so excited for you and are there for support. I’ve also seen the groom surprising his mother as well so don’t think it’s just for the bride.
What’s best for YOUR day?
Honestly, I cannot tell you the answer. You’ll have to decide what it is you both want for your day and go with your gut feeling. The best advise I have is to definitely have a plan either way and to give more space between events during your timeline so there’s no rushed stressful feeling and you can fully experience your wedding day.
When I’m your photographer we’ll chat about how we can make your timeline suit your needs and keep you from feeling stressed out!